Coffee With Mike – Being An Empathetic Advisor

One of the things that we do in our practice is we’re trying to create this empathy for the person that we're working with. We're trying to identify with their feelings and their thoughts. We’re trying to understand why certain things are important, and why other things were not. We're trying to appreciate where they are, how they've made their decisions, and how they prioritize things. We're not trying to correct them. We're not trying to shape them. We're just trying to really experience them. 

 So, it's like they have this dream. They want to share that dream with me, and then we want to see if that dream can be made real. In order for me to interpret that dream that they're expressing, I really have to experience it, too. I mean, I just can't listen to it. I have to start feeling it, and I have to start living that dream with them, getting the feeling that they're getting, and being able to see what they see. 

If I can make that connection with somebody, then I know that I can help them make decisions that are going to be best for them, that are going to make them comfortable, that are going to put them in the best position to achieve what they say they want to achieve. So my job is to experience your dream not just interpret. My job interpreting the dream is not only to just build something and get a plan and get it over with basically, but to create a journey for someone that they're going to enjoy. 

Recently I heard someone say, “Hey this obstacle you think you're running up against, this isn't an obstacle. This is the journey. So, quit trying to avoid it, get on with the journey. Don't think you've been blocked now, this is just part of the road.” When I think about it that way, I realized that when we develop a plan, it's not just something we put on paper. It's really a path that we create and we're putting someone on a journey. 

A journey that certainly is going to have opportunities, and a journey that's certainly going to have challenges and frustrations, and so we just want to help people prepare themselves for the journey that they're about to embark on, to understand what they should expect from the journey, and to make sure that they build up whatever they need to build up, whether it's finances, whether it's perseverance, whether it's a certain frame of mind. Whatever it is, we just want to help them build up whatever they need to build up to be able to continue on their journey. 

So that's what we're trying to do with that. I think that this level of empathy that we're seeking to develop in these client relationships and relationships with other people is, we're just trying to help them know that you can trust us with your thoughts. You can trust us with your feelings. You can trust us with your plans, because what we're going to try to do with that trust is we're going to develop a path a journey for you that you can not only endure, but a journey you can enjoy.